There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Tuesday, June 26, 2012


finally...i'm officially homeless now.the lawyer called me today n ask me to hand over the house key.i need to quick find house. a bit sad, a bit happy but this is the end.i work hard try to sell this house although i know i will big chance to stay nice n comfortable. i know its hard to convince people to buy this house after few client wanna see for buy and rent.

new life, new book, new thing soon....which i dont know exactly what will happen. i discuss about this for few people i trust but i never hav good respond.even the answer not solve my need at all.its make me disappointed. just now only me can help me......few people do favour for me and i appreciate it.

only one wish..i do right step for new life, new place. its scary me...when u r alone close friend even no lover.make me sad actually.i'm sad for all usual.thats all i can write here.

Monday, June 25, 2012


a lot of work today , rushing for next submission and presentation next week. so tired. home alone. try to not write my feeling at fb. not nice to people. just frustrated n give up right now. good nite


today i have blind date but when i was ready to meet at the place i should meet....nothing there. i'm confuse it is my mistake? or i'm not good enough? or i'm too late?

then i'm waiting another 2 hour there sit down and waiting. i can see like a movie in front of me. a real movie. i saw about life.... nice couple holding hand, kissing, a family with kids, a daddy with boyish, a handsome guy walking with phone, n i asking myself....what i want in my life? then i frustrated. i give up for my life.

then i'm cried because i'm too lonely here. if i have my old friend like patrice, chris, john, tj or patrick ....i'm sure i will not like this. maybe they left me because of me too. people come n go because of contract of work not because of contract of life........ they not choose me to take together with them.

yeah i'm confuse about myself.this moment 12 midnight..... i wish tomorrow is better than today. i know i always give up and frustrated everyday but i still believe one day i will be happy. i'm not want rich partner..... just someone understand me, maybe nice look in my eyes its enough because i know i'm not nice at all. just ordinary guy.

anyway thats this time some people have fun on bed....some people holding hand , laughing, but i'm cry alone because nobody care. everyone have thier own prblm. same with me.thats why i wrote here.....because i dont know with who i should share. when i said the true people said i'm play game. when i say i need u people will say i'm drama. i dont long as i never cheat anyone. i deserve to be happy. i wish. and always wish.just hopeless sometime.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Another stressful day.

A lot of thing need to settle at home. Although not my fault but as a person who stay here I'm part of that. Sometime I'm give up n fed up the same prblm following me since few year. I hope something good happen . I need a little bit cheer up.....that's all. Pls Allah helping me pls

Sunday, June 17, 2012

sad and felt down at this moment

just felt sad....when many prblm came at one point.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

nothing to do at home

i miss u n always waiting you although for thousand years

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Friday, June 1, 2012


in mind trying to replay what i have done in my life b4. i know not all is bad and sad time, some almost amazing and miracle for me.

yeah i choose YOU because i believe n confident with my decision.i'm not regret although its just short time...its really meant to me. after all of YOU left me and KL, i lost something in my life. a good friend to laugh, complaining, lunch, dinner, cooking,and more.

still remember the moment at kitchen, dining room, even living room which is i missed so much. thats time i'm not to think where i should go after work at friday even what i should do at wknd...all already in mindset, to be with u, to cook with u, to laugh with u, to naughty with u....aaaah i'm so happy. and i know i'm snoring at night include you....but wake up with smile n laughing because everyone swear not snore when sleeping. hahaha

i choose you b4 because i trust u can make me happy n i can share what i can share with u. although we never say we r in love but as friend is more good enough for me.i know all of you not longer here thats why i'm not hoping anything just a good friend....time for laugh...i missed it and i miss you. i choose you because i trust you.

thats why for now...... i think i'm at bad time because the people i choose for now, they can't see what i can offer them. a good friendship, lovely time...... i hope people will understand me. TRUST friend will laugh when i wrote this...hhaha always trust me la.


I just human.... Sometime I'm anger, sometime I'm sensitive, sometime I'm happy, sometime I'm sad , I can tolerate.

I agree life without this feeling is nothing. It's a challenge for me to make sure I'm become strong n see what the reason I like this.

Yes I'm mad because I just late for one minute for date when he gone for another human I can turn back my time just to make sure I have date.

I'm sad because it's not easy for me to decide having date with someone I think I hav good chemistry or connection but he or she don't turn our or not ready to meet. I'm sad because I think they just playing games with. I'm not bad guy...... I'm not begging for money . I just wanna go out talking, knowing people n fun it's last one.

That's why I talk to you this my lord because I'm still believe u r good listener. Give me strength n good person . I just have balance life. Pls help me.