There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Friday, April 27, 2012

miss my body b4...hahha so slim


i took this photo at 1st january 2011....arghhh i need to do more exercise!!!!!!!

nice to see old photo



tonight i felt lonely....... bored n just look at the photo i took b4....hmm nice, smiling, positive thinking....creative...lately i was down.....i need good spirit...suppport, maybe love.....from friend although i dont have lover.......

suddenly..... my iphone play song " please remember me" .... my heart felt pain because i will be the last person move out from this house.....a place gave me thousand memory...happiness.....n i'm not sure about the owner...r u they just forget it........ u know..this house is amazing nice...i wish i have money to buy it.......

i can see more people come in.....2 year ago when i move in....most block is empty but now more renovation n people everywhere....gym always with people n swimming pool too. i love to be here n now i will walk to real life.....something i'm not sure...how its will be going


i wish i have lover to share house...sharing everything in my life...... i know i always in dream. maybe i'm not good enough or maybe i bad person. thats life u know


anyway i was enjoyed tonight with my photo.....nice nice nice..........wish i can share with someone here now.........i miss u all......look at into my eyes...... what do u see......i'm lonely without all of you. people i love....i miss all the time.....trust me!!!.

found in old folder....hehehhehe



my friend at paris....patrice

hahhaha i found this....


the funny ever i have done....... but i think i'm still look nice...r u laughing?

hahah actually the idea is why the women at kl never change the scarf style...look boring.... so one day i try using my towel and i create some style or cover....


actually its very hard and difficult..took long time...but its gave me good experience....nice ever!!!!

a request






someone not believe with my own photo.....i can say from hundred snap only one its better.........but here some photo i dont like.... i mean the position...the lighting ....need time to practice more........

anyway at this house i took thousand of photo......heheheh

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Scary dream

Last nite it's was bad dream.... Really really bad. As muslim of course we believe it not 100 percent but take it as warning or learning. I can say too, sometime it's related what u doing in the real life.

I was holiday with someone but I don't know who because I almost alone in my dream. A place near beach, beautiful, hot n stunning ocean.

Suddenly the rain come... The sky stil bright n everyone run to hall.... All of us forget our sandal at beach.......because the wave become strong n near to beach n hall. So we quickly try to get our sandal. Suddenly the waves go far far to the ocean..... What amazing....... Because we can see the biggest beach.

Then I take my sandal n in few minute I saw a wave with 10 or 7 storey building come to us..... Arghhhhhh everyone screaming n I try run but I lost..... I don't hav much time.


I realize this is dream dream dream.... I decided to open eyes b4 the wave come closer I don't want surrender.... I make decision to open eyes.... Then I open my eyes said oh my god...... What scary this.... I took 5 minute to continue the dream or not..... I said just try why not.....


Then I close my eyes n I run as fast I can n I saw a mosque near the hotel. I climb the tower of mosque n stay inside. I saw many people there we start read qurann zikirullah. As Muslim we asked help from god.

From the small hole at minarate saw the wave come bigger n bigger.heard people screaming afraid n water every where.so bad.... Then 3 big wave came n the mosque nearly collapse but stay strong.


After few hour.... Everything back to normal.... But the place almost destroy n walk around to see what going on n try to find my friend but I don't know who I'm looking for. Then I go to one building the workers keep clean the building n I went to toilet just clea myself. U know what? One bad thing happen its really make me sad, annoying n crazy .


When I finish clean myself at toilet..... I saw 2 workers clean the toilet n they shocked 2 died baby on sink in toilet . Like embrio or unborn baby . The character of baby look like white baby not Asian or etc. I'm sure the mother was throw the baby . So sad


I'm sure the god mad n tsunami m earthquake happen to tell human don't be like animal. I was shocked because I can say many people now having sex b4 marriage n etc. I know it's bad ..... I speechless .

Continue find my friend but he not there..... N anymore thing happen. I'm scared n cant sleep anymore.

Lonely nite

Every nite is lonely nite. Go home without anything just lay naked on bed watch tv, cold n so quiet. Everyda is empty, lonely....... Imaging all my friend marriage have sex n get baby.sometime fight maybe at least the life is complete. Up n down is normal. At my age now honestly I desperate to hav someone special in my life. Sweaty n wet on bed, smiling b4 go sleep, warm hug n beautiful snoring at middle at night. It's showed I'm not alone anymore.

Yes I know some friend n family member read this but I don't care I'm mature enough to write anything I want n I also normal human. Have needs love sex, n etc.

That's life but who care.... All my lovers gone n never come back to me. Do u think I should begging them to come n pick? Yes I did.... But everyone with their career.same with me.i always said to everyone, how hard u work u can't bring that money to grave unless u hav kids to take care.

Why not just forget the job at the moment n spent time with someone u like. Have good memory.... I wish I'm rich n I can go somewhere n do what I want.

Talk like shit but honestly if I meet someone love me n I love him I resign 24 hour n get ready to move on. I don't care.the world gonna end soon. Go n have time!!!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Open sesame

Lately I can say I hav bad time. I always write bad thing here because I don't hav friend near me to share... What I felt, what I want even what I mad.

I know nobody want hear prblm n most people just wanna know sweet, sweet thing. Should I pretend to be happy??

Those people know about that I really appreciate it. Just I realize all my lover b4 gone n never come back to my life.

That's make me sad.... One by one gone n just wish all the best . One day I was bad condition n off my phone.... Sleep early n wake up n realize I'm alone in kl. no tears to cry ... No voice to screaming n I just continue my life

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Monday, April 9, 2012

Just missed my past time

Sometime I don't understand with life . When we ready to meet people n suddenly it's cancelled ... What going on? Why nobody here ready to take me away n give me little happiness.

Sometime when we met someone we like its always ending with rejected. I don't know I'm bad or too rushing.... I just like to hav time.

If I can pay u the time I take when new meet.... I will pay u. Again I'm frustrated. I hate people who r too desperate with work until he or she forget someone need him/ her near. Do u think u can bring all ur money to grave? Go ahead.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

just new photo

i'm fat now!!!!! with belly