There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Saturday, October 15, 2011

the answer from the prevoius article

thanks for all people visited my blog n left some comment. i appreciate it.some comment really not good because u just saw from ur eyes but u never go inside my heart n i realize thats the truth, but some comment not convince me.

my friend always said i'm good in giving excuse and always have many reason in many hehhe yeah.... i believe everything happened should hav strong reason.

- i can say right now my load of work suddenly increase to compare all my officemate. thats why i felt its not fair. at same time i'm scared with my next trip..because if the boss want me do some important work..i dont know how to solve it. i can say in 1 week i do 6 project. my others officemate just doing 1 or 2 project at one time. i'm doing 6 project. sometime 3 project in one day to handle.

of course the worst is when my boss argue i'm not doing anything, not related..what the fuck!!! the end they stole my idea. i hate that. start design from autocad, getting the idea, thinking the idea of colouring the floor plan by photoshop, make report by power point and pdf,binding n send email....its complicated n i'm stress 100%.

thats why lately i'm feel not comfortable anymore to work at my office, feeling like to resign. everyday big boss come to me n asking me what u doing?, what ur scope of work?what the other boss want? why u do that? i hate it....u not involve to this project, so please let me do 1st n i will explain.

- the pressure everyday at office, make me tired n stress. back home staying single, no friend to talk, no friend to's make me hurt and pain. then i start thinking of my life. if u said i'm do nothing u r wrong...with stress mind n tired body im still go gym and doing exercise with hoping i can release my stress n shape my body...but the truth is its not works at all.i'm get more stress, tired n can't sleep.

sometime i'm sad because i start imaging people have thier partner at home, watching tv together, having sex on bed,cuddle, kissing,cooking together at least listen someone talking at home. i'm mature enough to talk about this. its not embarrassing me at all.end of this year 2 my officemate will get marriage. sometime lacking in my life n honestly i felt bad. i dont have bf or gf, ever i think i never 100% fall in love with some1 in my life. i dont know maybe i'm scared about love. its sad

honestly they never contact me and i also rarely contact them...... just banking the money every month and thats all. sometime my brother will call me to borrow some money or my sister will call me to do her university work especially english essay. thats all. i'm not blame them n i'm not blame myself about this. just i always alone doing for my life right now and future too.

there are some big reason to tell people about me. i just stress lately, my target to shape body, the work load at office, the needs for my personal life and etc. i know some people dont like to listen when i'm moody...its ok i will never share with u anymore. i understand.


Anonymous said...

Arif..don't sulk just opinion from others. Take it as positif way. Don't stop writing because i really enjoyed read your blog. I also really understand your situation. Each problem have solution. If you think you really stress out at your company just move out and find new job.
i always here if you need friend to split out you problem...

ariff said...

thanks for ur comment. i appreciate it.i will never stop writing..not worry. i like to sharing my life to experience, maybe i fall in love with writing now. just sometime need time to write it.

resign? i have been 2.5 year at this company, sometime felt lost, but the salary quite good to company others company. let see later.
thanks again