There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Saturday, October 22, 2011

i love u sayang

today i'm working n cried at office.just felt sad suddenly when i'm think about my life. about work, people i love around me...i really miss all of you.

to be continue..........

Sunday, October 16, 2011

hmmm one shoot from hundred snap

Saturday, October 15, 2011

lost

I do not like my state of mind
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
I do not yearn for lovelier lands.
I dread the dawn's recurrent light;
I hate to go to bed at night.
I snoot at simple, earnest folk.
I cannot take the gentlest joke.
I find no peace in paint or type.
My world is but a lot of tripe.
I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.
For what I think, I'd be arrested.
I am not sick, I am not well.
My quondam dreams are shot to hell.
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore;
I do not like me any more.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men...
I'm due to fall in love again."

the answer from the prevoius article

thanks for all people visited my blog n left some comment. i appreciate it.some comment really not good because u just saw from ur eyes but u never go inside my heart n i realize thats the truth, but some comment not convince me.

my friend always said i'm good in giving excuse and always have many reason in many way.lol hehhe yeah.... i believe everything happened should hav strong reason.

work
- i can say right now my load of work suddenly increase to compare all my officemate. thats why i felt its not fair. at same time i'm scared with my next trip..because if the boss want me do some important work..i dont know how to solve it. i can say in 1 week i do 6 project. my others officemate just doing 1 or 2 project at one time. i'm doing 6 project. sometime 3 project in one day to handle.

of course the worst is when my boss argue i'm not doing anything, not related..what the fuck!!!...at the end they stole my idea. i hate that. start design from autocad, getting the idea, thinking the idea of colouring the floor plan by photoshop, make report by power point and pdf,binding n send email....its complicated n i'm stress 100%.

thats why lately i'm feel not comfortable anymore to work at my office, feeling like to resign. everyday big boss come to me n asking me what u doing?, what ur scope of work?what the other boss want? why u do that? i hate it....u not involve to this project, so please let me do 1st n i will explain.

home
- the pressure everyday at office, make me tired n stress. back home staying single, no friend to talk, no friend to share....it's make me hurt and pain. then i start thinking of my life. if u said i'm do nothing u r wrong...with stress mind n tired body im still go gym and doing exercise with hoping i can release my stress n shape my body...but the truth is its not works at all.i'm get more stress, tired n can't sleep.

sometime i'm sad because i start imaging people have thier partner at home, watching tv together, having sex on bed,cuddle, kissing,cooking together at least listen someone talking at home. i'm mature enough to talk about this. its not embarrassing me at all.end of this year 2 my officemate will get marriage. sometime lacking in my life n honestly i felt bad. i dont have bf or gf, ever i think i never 100% fall in love with some1 in my life. i dont know maybe i'm scared about love. its sad

family
honestly they never contact me and i also rarely contact them...... just banking the money every month and thats all. sometime my brother will call me to borrow some money or my sister will call me to do her university work especially english essay. thats all. i'm not blame them n i'm not blame myself about this. just i always alone doing for my life right now and future too.

there are some big reason to tell people about me. i just stress lately, my target to shape body, the work load at office, the needs for my personal life and etc. i know some people dont like to listen when i'm moody...its ok i will never share with u anymore. i understand.

Friday, October 14, 2011

don't know where is i'm

this week..i really stressful. give up, tension, mad, frustrated, moody, lost focus, tired, also sad too. everything i do...like nothing... so i just continue my life...until i dont know where i should go.

feeling lonely, scared, afraid, desperate, exhausted n so on. i wish a miracle coming to my life make me happy n strong. but how? i try looking but really frustrated. looking in myself, looking around and also future. i'm lost in my life.

so sad actually.....for something u dont know what u should do..and how.....bad mood

Sunday, October 9, 2011

things need to do b4 2012

new year will coming soon, except increasing of age.... i wish 2012 become my resting year for me. 2011 very busy traveling around the world....so amazing too much travel even in malaysia too.

october
- will fly to france

november
- back to kl from france
- penang/langkawi
- singapore
- phuket/phi phi island

december
- maybe will go vietnam


things need to do b4 new year
- repair computer from 2 cpu become 1 cpu (or buy new laptop)
- wish i can have iphone4 ...my dream phone actually
- canceled the celcom broadband and fix the UNIFI internet at home
- more gardening
- ASTRO? hmm willl double think soon
- pay the education loan until rm3999 b4 new year....lol, at least new number for 2012.
- new bed? hahah...
- more exercise

peacock at weekend






spent time at home with water colour. i know i'm not good in water colour. method..and i tried my best. so this is the result. the peaCOCK at weekend. lol

Saturday, October 8, 2011

what do u think this? sometime i think life without me.....what happen

someone like u

long time i'm not write here...one of the reason is because some people dont like to read it. yeah i know i'm a bit cheeky, crazy when i'm moody. the truth is sometime i dont have place to talk, to share what i want, what i wish, what i dont like n the most important...what i'm felling at this time.

this time i'm tired looking around when i really need someone called "friend" for fun or etc. tired, bored n frustrated. maybe some people think i can get anything i want,its not truth at all. then when i listened this song at radio..i'm crying because i wish i can have someone like u near me to make me happy all the time.

its like i'm at junction, which is i dont know which i road i need to take. anyway i felt bad for this time. a bit sad n stress for some reason, needs, want, and wish. i dont know what should i do...

missed waterfal and forest....lol


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

best holiday kuala lumpur 2012

Best holiday 2012

31 dec - 2 jan (Saturday-Monday) = NEW YEAR (3 DAY)

21 jan-29 jan (Saturday - Sunday) = CNY (9 DAY) -3

1 feb (Wednesday) = FEDERAL DAY (1 DAY)

4 feb - 7 feb (Saturday- tuesday) = MAULIDUR RASUL, THAIPUSAM (4 DAY)

28 april – 1 may (Saturday – Tuesday) = HARI PEKERJA (4 DAY) -1

18 ogos -21 ogos(Saturday – Tuesday) = HARI RAYA (4 DAY) -1

31 ogos- 2 sept (Friday – Sunday) = MERDEKA DAY (3 DAY)

15sept-17 sept (Saturday – Monday) = HARI MALAYSIA (3 DAY)

26oct -28 oct (Friday – Sunday) = RAYA HAJI (3 DAY)

10 nov – 12 nov (Saturday –Monday) = DEEPAVALI (3 DAY)

15 nov-18nov (Thursday – Sunday) = AWAL MUHARRAM (4 DAY) -1

22dec - 25dec (Saturday-Tuesday) = XMAS (4 DAY) -1

office's karaoke










last week, my office reserve a big room for office's karaoke..i sing 2 song...just back up artis...hahha too shy to sing

me at singapore








my latest artwork for my best friend