There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Saturday, September 3, 2011

checks and balances

come back from hometown always make me thinking deep n more more.....just a motivate for me..warning or recall what i have done b4 in my life......

- why people always cheating when they try to achieve what they want for their own benefit?

- why people always using fake photo and doing bad thing?

- i hate my life sometime...what we want always can't have. i'm not bad guy even not ugly too.... life like what we eat..sometime we like to eat western, Japanese,french, Asian, Mexican....sometime i always hope can eat middle east food...but so hard to find it....... always frustrated

- the day b4 i coming back to cousin same age with me got married. he is religious person and his mother found him a good wife.a teacher. of course the pressure come to me....because thats life. how about me? how long i should be like this? when i met someone already attached..i tried avoid myself to close with them n make one step behind or forward because i'm jealous. jealous to see they attached. have someone to say i love u, kissing, hold hand together, hugging and of course love each other

- its sad actually.....because like usual....i will keep asking myself......what i want in my life? what i can offer to world? what happened to me when i'm 50 years old without love, money n everything? really sad

- how i can be rich? where i should find extra money? some people looking for sugar daddy, sugar mummy, become escort, doing massage...i dont want all this..... i did part of them b4...but i want get halal money to be rich for better life... but how? i love to help my family...doing family's house.....etc.

- i need something in my life......something make me happy again......i know i'm still lost in my real life.... but where is the point...can i open it.....or close it

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