There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

my favourite ring tone.. never change cranberries... dreams



i never change my ring tone since i bought my phone 4 years ago. i love the song.


Oh, my life is changing everyday
In every possible way
And my dreams it's never quiet as it seems
Never quiet as it seems

I know I've felt like this before
But now I'm feeling it even more
Because it came from you
And then I open up and see
The person falling here is me
A different way to be

I want more, impossible to ignore
Impossible to ignore
And they'll come true, impossible not to do
Impossible not to do

And now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don't hurt me
You're what I couldn't find
A totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me

Oh, my life is changing every day
In every possible way
And my dreams it's never quiet as it seems
'Cause you're a dream to me, dream to me

flooding..i hate this









i dont know.. how many time my house flooding. maybe several time. i hate this... and yesterday...its the worst time for me..because again need to out money again to repair it. ooh its bad. the plumber told us.... the pipe was blocked by stone, sand .. maybe some renovation at floor uppers. so last night they only can make it clear n not to repair alll pipe. oh noooo...we must wait for tomorrow. its means today. all my housemate dont want to take out the water from floor, because the floor trap already not working. so only me me use Tupperware to take out all the water from floor, b4 its more become worst. so i did by myself.... no choice..always me... it hard for me. its hard stay in city with high cost living.hmmm.. will find new house....hope so

be nasty


i swear today , wednesday 31 march 2010..i become nasty in the train. because i hate feeling down.... want be bad guy. since last week...... . people always keep looking at me...n today my turn to do that. hahahah

start lat sunday, i went to low yat to buy internet card. when i took escalator..one person look at me. deep , deep n more deep. hahha i realize that person look at me..but i just act normal. i hate that because i love privacy. back home i'm online, suddenly got massage ...surprised because that person message me..so funny because i'm not celebrity...not so famous. yeah maybe just admirer.

the next day...after office hour, i'm rushing to kl sentral because i hav coffee with friend. when i exchange the train at masjid jamek station...again another person look at me.. n come to me, shaked hand n touch my body... oh no.. yeah i know that person. we keep chatting since 3 years ago but we never meet . because both of us busy n not make date at all.he keep saying i'm very good looking and muscle.... hahha so funny because i just normal person. yeah because i run out the time...we just say bye n i keep smile because its funnyla.

and today.... i also rushing go home because.. my house flooding with water yesterday. so i must go home quickly to clean the kitchen after the plumber fixed that at morning. what can i say..everyone hav thier own admirer...same like me. so in 5 years..i keep looking someone at internet..only today i hav chance to see my eyes. thank god. i'm lucky although i cant do more...can see its already enough for me. its related with story above. but i'm not crazy like 2 person above. keep control. anyway after look by my own eyes...i agree that person are great... but enough just to see, not more from that. even in train, i just cool like nothing happen.

after exchange train at masjid jamek, i love to try something nasty. lucky i was stand at someone great too. so i just look at the eyes..non stop. hahha n now i wons because that person look at another place. yeahhhh i keep look at that person until my train reached at my station. i promise will not do anymore. hahhaha. thats my nasty thing i did today. today in history

bitter heart


day after day many thing happen...since a month ago...... i lost focus. the eyes looking around, then transfer to brain, thinking. then the heart become bitter because its hard to say... then come back to eyes...finally cry.

i know i hav weak heart, sometime always change..... maybe as teenager we always think about our self for future. some of my friend already marriage, got baby. soon another friend also will marriage at Sabah. even my roommate also hanging out with his gf. walking walking look around...hmm what i can do?

i dont mind to be alone if that the God want, but something make me sad because i always denial myself with everything happen around me. sometime i want great time with someone...but its hard after think more and more. when i know the person already attached.....its make me sad. so everyday when i think about that person... i saw a banner in the sky... " attached so dont try bother or hope". then its make me down... even when i try to be nice with someone...i put a distance because i know he not longer at malaysia even not belongs to me. i swear n i agree, sometime i fall in love because everyone want someone make u happy or feel comfortable.

but when people start misunderstood, its become horrible. i'm still stand on my foot, which one i can go further and which one i cant. different culture, different thinking, different needs. sometime when we know something happen in front of us, we try to be positive. i know i can called its jealous.

hmm.... maybe i'm not good anymore. too young, moody, and too crazy.i agree sometime. so maybe i need move forward or another step behind or in front. the real is sometime what we hav now just for short time, anytime can change. who knows? i'm ready for any possibility. i can feel it because i saw n feel it.so bitter heart.

my favourite song this week.. zee avi bitter heart

actually many thing happen for this week, very tiring, moody, fed up and else. i try to low profile this week because i want focus for myself, motivate n be strong even to my work too. try be positive too.at same time funny thing happen at office, on the way to home, at home or etc. i only can say... not all our day is great day or not all are bad day too. same like us. sometime people like us, sometime dont like us.what ever... the chance in front of me its open bigger and bigger. i dont mind anymore.

so i choose this song not related with any person...just love the arrangement music.....



Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around till they fall down down down.
I wait for you: it's been two hours now,
You're still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.
I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round,
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.
And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Sunday, March 28, 2010