There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Friday, October 23, 2009

bad day

in office, i'm a bit relax because some work already done, just waiting 3d images from 3d maker give us the photo later n put in the report.i'm working on mix development at sungai besi, kl. again company a friend buy belt at chinatown and hav good dinner too. on the way to home...i walked at street, but i hav bad breathe...feel sick inside in heart. i dont know why. i thought i hav good day today.....i already fell lonely when walking to home. after i changed my clothes..i just sit in front computer n checking email. suddenly i feel so so lonely..... in deep heart. nobody at home..empty. usually my housemate open the music..laughing and talking. but tonight its was empty. i wanna call my friend to ask them back home faster because i hate this feeling.

after 30 minute, they back home.... n they inform me..they hav dinner together and hav meeting to change to new house after 3 of us decided to move out. i really shocked, surprised too. i'm sad in my heart.i know this thing will happen...n try to not think about that. n try to not change..but time moving..people hav thier own life. i love all my housemate...even they very kind n good to me. i'm crying.

n now....they decide to move one place a bit far from kl...n a bit far from my office. i know its was my mistake because i dont hav driving license even car...... only choice i hav is not follow them n find new room to rent. but i afraid to stay away from them....... many reason i cant follow them because my personal prblm. myself...my life n so on. i cant tell this..hope all of u will understand. i'm sad n crying...n also cant sleep too. this really bad..i only hav 3 week b4 i become permanent staff. i know if i move to new office..its hard for me. i'm got chemistry wit my office now. i dont want jobless again. i dont want stay in this life without money. i felt that and its very hard. thats why i'm sad because i dont want look at behind again.....i hav bad life for a short time...i dont want turn back.

i dont know what to say.... life without internet.... i'm sorry to say this because my personal prblm related with the whole of my life. i afraid to be alone, thats why last time i was dream trapped in lift alone..i'm drowning, dark alone......its really scary. i dont know..with who i should share. i'm too sad....... nowdays seems everyone busy with thier works, even me too....maybe end of year. i planned many thing b4...but now all changed. no word to say. what i can say is...i hate this feeling.i cat sleep at all.

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