There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Friday, July 31, 2009

good nite sweetheart

Good night sweet heart!!!,
One of my wish to dream u every night,
Or take u n run away together,
Down to heaven.

Nobody know what is our feeling,
I wish u still remember our time together,
Glad if u still remember,
Hope never delete it in my mind,
Till i stop breathing at one day at future.

Some people say,
We seems met at another life b4,
Enough to show how close we are,
Enough to make me miss u badly,
Take me away in every ur dream,
Hours, maybe days, or forever,
Even eyes can see you around,
A heart can feel it u beside,
Residuum our life, our memory with benefit,
Till you say " Good Night forever Sweetheart, mimpi indah".

Edward Thomas Jr.
1 Aug 2009

watermelon, rubber tree, and jackfruit tree

last time, after finish picnic at beach, my father bring us to our orchard on the way back home. hehhe not more orchard but become forest now. because my father busy with his 2 wife. mother complaint baout him to me. no comment.

so the picture above is the watermelon plantation. so with big land, the plant watermelon and export to korea and also japan. believe me its really big land. sometime the change with chili or lemongrass. i means change the type of plant every year.

so my father hav rambutan tree, guava, jack-fruits, and anything else. a lot actually but now all gone because nobody wanna take care of it. all his kids love to stay at city. especially me. hehhe. so u can see the jack-fruit on the tree still cant eat.

and beside my father's orchard hav rubber estate. so those people dont know, what is rubber tree and how its look like, i like to share with all of u. i love when autumm time, its means when all rubber leave down on earth and hav good scenery. i hope can be good director film and shot beautiful of malaysia in my film. hehhe no more sad film.hahhaha who know right?

still smiling

always hope everyday is lucky day for me. i miss all memory i hav in my life...... tired think about study. hav exam later. another choice for my future life........hehehe

painful of passionate heart

i'm a bit bored at home.....the whole day at home except went to mosque for friday pray. nothing much i can do for now. yeah much down.....painful in deep heart when we dont know where we should share it or find the solution. its normal as human..sometime feel strong, happy, enjoy n depress.

if we always happy, not sad, its like a robot without feeling. maybe old feeling which is i'm not found it.yeah if we try hard to get it, its never happen, but if we not try, we never get chance.i'm happy what i hav now, just miss something i lost although that thing in front of me b4.i'm lost focus, tired to try, afraid to facing it. aahhh so painful.

no more sweetheart word, no more honey word, love or anything else.all change to become mate or friend because dont want people misunderstood. i know i should learn from my experience... no more falling in love with wrong person, no more jealous, no more control, no more hoping even place to share. everyone busy with their destiny, life, work, gf and bf, wife, family, friend and also kids.a bit frustrated with housemate.

i always say we create the memory, all in our hand. only we know how to draw it. but sometime we need someone to draw it together. oohhhh. talking about planning, sometime we hav plan A, plan B, plan C. but when all plan is failed.......which plan we should choose? only one plan we can choose...hahhah the answer is lonely planet. hehheh not animal planet. because i dont want become wild anymore.

hahha someone gave me a lot tissue..hheheh maybe they know i will cry later, so i use that tissue to stop my tears. sometime good after we cried.hmmmmm........ my Islamic teacher said, crying is good, because the tears will clean all the bad thing in eye like dust. yeah i feel fresh now. last night i was fall death sleep and really hav bad dream. i though i'm died in sleep because its really bad dream i hav in my life because i'm so tired when wake up.heavy head n tired of mind.since a few month, i cant sleep well, too much i think lately. i hope miracle happen. i hope too

always listen harmony song, sentimental, or peaceful song. i miss everyone closed to me n i meant that. dedicated this song to those understand my heart n listen my heart. heart to heart.wish can u come in my dream, hug me, talk to me maybe more.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

red means love, brave, mad, hot, wild........just teasing you

outskirts chinatown, malaysia

a nice temple close to chinatown

grafiti for yasmin at klang river

today...i'm a bit bored at home and decided to go out watching harry potter at time square cinema. yeah i know, i should not stay at home when i start feeling something not good. so i using my friend 's touch and go and walk around.

yeah the film quite good but the ending a bit strange. anyways that story. so i walk around i went to borders, a bookstore at time square, read book and bought one ID book for my freelance work later. just help friend renovate condo. yeah i need some references or example.

then my stomach so hungry...heheh i saw kfc advertisement at tv last nite, so i try to find kfc restaurant without people. hahah i need space for myself sometime. i decided to go a kfc restaurant close to chinatown. yeah nobody there. so i took lunch there alone. yeah think a lot about myself and future. look at kfc workers, i'm so proud of them. yeah i love working...anyways dont want to think about it too much.

i walk around and b4 go back home, i found a creative grafiti on the wall at klang river. that time one group from tv station making video, they shocked and surprised i took photo, seems like a photographer at newspaper. hahah so funny. i just smile to them.

yeah yasmin, one the best director i know at malaysia. she did a good job malaysia. her film really superb and nice story teller. yeah not easy to find someone honest with thier creativity, touching heart, sensitive and gave many motivated for people also herself. good job yasmin. we proud with ur job and ur film. thanks from malaysian.

a few blog will gain 5000

unbelievable my blog will gain hits 5000 later. i'm using the red colour counter, its more good rather than the blue one. so i'm happy today because can good sleep last night even hav good dinner too. last week, many thing i should think, so busy and hectic. but now everything go slow except my mind cant never stop.

from the 1st posting until now, i hope people like my blog. i will try another way to make all of u happy read my blog later. i always plan many thing in mind because i dont want get bored, lonely or sad feeling. i must do something, at least exercise, reading and so on. thanks for someone gave me a nice book. hahha its nice actually.

damai lrt station's views

view towards kl city

after 1 hour 30 minute at satay restaurant, i took train to ampang park station, just see the view from train. in the middle of way, i stop at damai station because i love the view. actually, i was wish to take this photo, but dont hav chance, so yesterday i use the chance i hav to take keramat mall n view facing to kl city. keramat mall actually was misconstruction for long time, n now they finished i took the photo as memory. look nice market n hope its give benefit to people which is stay that area.

another reason is a lot memory for me b4 around this area, especially at jelatek lrt station. hmmm. last time i always use this way to meet someone. but now no more. so i saw many changing now. hope the development will never forget about environment, put more trees and always make great landscape.

anyway, its lovely place to stay actually at this area. many condo, house and apartment. not too far from kl city.

view to keramat mall

hmmm new interview's area yesterday

yesterday, a bit worry and nervous for another interview. maybe many hope i put for my life. i dont want to list here because its seems far from my objective and its changed now. since i'm arrived in kl, my mind only concentrate for this interview.

my interview at 5pm, but 330pm i'm out from house and arrived around 4pm at that office, taman setiawangsa. a bit fr from lrt setiawangsa, but they hav peaceful neighborhood. i love to stay there, if got chance. i know the famous building there is seri maya condominium. even my ex company also hav project here, datuk dot dot house, so a bit familiar for me with this area.

yeah i like to come early when i hav interview, because i need time to fill the form, rest and also get ready for interview. the interview start early around 430pm, 30 minute early. a bit shocked, they just looking for part time workers and will contact me later. but i think its okla, than nothing.the company also good, the architect also kind and friendly.

honestly i hope cna go office again with full suit, hahhahaha. maybe the God want want me rest again. so we finished around 5pm. then i'm happy for that. i got the answer so now ready for my exam. lucky because my friend invite me for dinner after working hour. so just relax, rest and read book at satay restaurant, close to setiawangsa lrt.

after interview yesterday...ahaks

hahha... actually a bit hungry after interview because pressure b4 interview. thats why i need to rest and relax. i went this restaurant b4, with office mate a year ago. the satay not so nice like satay kajang, but ok. i love it too.the fresh orange so marvelous. i love that.

i love the interior design, so time to take photo again. sorry too much my photo recently. i bring the camera because i need to take photo as evidence, i came to kl again because interview. maybe somebody will say...ariff just come to kl for another reason. hmmm....thats ur opinion. i dont care. hahaha

anyway i enjoy the satay, the restaurant, the book i read and the time i spent here. so relax, so privacy and peaceful. sometime i hate life full with publicity and crowded with people. hahah seems like i'm a model. i means sometime we went to pasar seni...too much people even at restaurant, too much at this restaurant is different.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

the best memory i hav in my life

finally at 930pm kl sentral, i'm there waiting my best friend will departure. a bit nervous , afraid and happy. i'm nervous because i afraid to face this situation. i'm afraid because i dont know what happen to me at future, again testing in life? and i'm happy because i'm in kl for meet them and i'm happy become strong n strong. i dont want give up in life.

we spent time to talk, n hope will hav another chance at future again. they look a bit tired n stress. hmmm i dont know what i should write here because its no easy to express my feeling here. hmmmm

i cant sleep at night, just thinking for interview for tomorrow (today), a bit afraid for new days. i must strong.since a week ago, i cant sleep well n every 230am or 330am or 430am, i will wake up. i dont know, my mind too much working. i need to slow down. but wake up today, kl is rainy. do u think my heart same like thats weather?

i know someone will say Ariff!!!!!!!. i'm ok. a big smile now. i wish i hav great great memory later. we all create the memory, so go n make it, spent time with someone u feel comfortable, share ur feeling with someone ready to take it, i wanna cooking again.....i wanna hav big smile again, i will waiting that day.i love all of you very much.

b4 i forget, i wanna thanks to God because gave me this chance.i really appreciate that.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

urgent time n chaotic time

maybe many people dont know..why i'm at kl again. its hard to say but i will explain, because maybe some people always follow my routine life. thanks and i really appreciate that.

after a week i'm in kl with hope n wish to find n get job last time, i'm give up and frustrated. at same time my father asked me to back home for fruits season especially durian. yeah a bit frustrated with friendship too but now we can handle with good.

so i back home to collect energy, hope, treat myself and finally i'm 100% healthy and chubby. hahha yeah so relax at hme. cooking, eat fruits, go picnic and good lifestyle.i love kl even my mother know i love kl. i just wanna be a good guy for myself, friend, family n my country.

so another reason is i hav exam paper to work with government. i need study about history, mathematic n about world too.yeah i'm like reading, in family my mother said only me crazy with reading same like my uncle. when found a book, i will never do anything else until finish read that book even newspaper. i love politic, history n so on. i dont want to write here what kind of job with government, because they will easy link with them. hahaha

so i used my time at home just study, n read. yeah sometime i'm feel bored, but what can i do, i must study n read book with smart n grab any kind job will come to me. i love architecture, but why not try another job.lucky i hav some friend at kl, which is can exchange sms from home.

but on monday morning, i really shocked because i got sms from my real best n close friend in my life. they will leaving kl tuesday night. i'm really sad.....until i cant breathe n my tears move. what can i do, my exam at 8 aug.b4 this my plan is to come kl this week because i hav something to do here, but finally i cancelled it because the plan is changed.

yeah i'm cry in room, n i just called them n wish all the best for them. i really wanna company them to departure area.....i wish that. start that time, i cant concentrate to my study anymore. then i decided to sacrifice this time for my family, future n myself too. i'm sure we will meet again one day. so i took shower waiting zohor pray. i never shared my sadness with my mother, but this time i told real best friend will leaving kl soon, but i know...i must take exam for my future, family n myself. my mother said is good for u....sometime hav another thing more important. n i told her...i love them...i really love them because not easy to find good friend in kl.

then i'm cried in front her. hehehe suddenly i heard azan..time to pray. yeah i pray n talk to god. i said

" oh my god, i accepted what u planned for me, but i really sad because my friend will leaving soon. i know some part its not good for me, but some part is good for me. you can see many muslim guy outside, still many cheater, lie, bad muslim even so on came to me n hurt me, but this friend teach me about humanity, love, friendship, respect although they r not muslim. n now i give all my heart n soul to U. if u dont want me meet them, i accepted it, maybe u hav another plan for me.n i'm cried in my pray"

i surrender because my hometown very far from kl city. i wish i'm rich to buy flight ticket although my friend said dont do something stupid.i just wanna meet them for this time not other things. with sad heart, i went to post office n grocery shop because helped my mother. i promised her to buy stuff at home. i'm still sad n i took my book i borrowed from friend from melbourne, read n read to forget this situation.

suddenly my phone ringging, i'm nervous because i saw kl number around 430pm.

" mr. ariff, we like to arrange an interview at wednesday at 5pm and so on".

i cant say anything because i'm shocked. grab this job or attend for exam 8 aug? family or kl? myself or friend?
at same time my mother went to neighhbour's house. my mind start running fast....arghhhh b4 my mother back better i packing all stuff in bag and discuss with her.i promised her to move 2 flower vase at garden and also roof material. so b4 she come back at least i ready to discuss. i did all thing with fast. so when she back home, i finished all the thing and with i told her

" ma, i got a call from kl, n want me attend interview at wednesday. i really dont want cheat u, its the truth. i did all the thing like i promise, post office, grocery, vase and roof. all i done, even i packing all my bag..only to get permittion from u can i go or not? if u said i must stay here, i will stay here. but if u say i can go. i promise will attend the exam too. "

he said u can go but she dont hav money. lucky i hav saving because i did part time b4 i go back to hometown.

yahooooooooooo..i can go to kl now, taking shower. honestly its critical time....still no buy bus ticket to kl and waiting bus to terengganu city. my hometown
far from kuala terengganu city. must get bus...long time waiting from 5pm. i got bus at 630pm and arrive to main bus station around 730pm. i run to get ticket, lucky i got one. yes.....

then i realize i'm so hungry because i'm start diet because a bit chubby now. this morning i only cook jemput2 food(below). so after bought the ticket i went to restaurant. in bus...i sms again to my mother, n explaination to my father because he not at home. he at another house his second wife. hhahaa. in bus i really thanks to god because understand me. n now i'm in kl 8 hour b4 my friend departure.i wish i can meet them to say good bye for this time.

the reason why i wanna attend this interview is because if i'm not attend this inteview and i failed in gov's exam..i'm losser. so if i attend this interview and i got the job at same time i attand the gov's exam. i got 2 chance. so thats what i was thinking. and meet my friend b4 they departure is like "i'm swimming at same time i drink the water".

the moral of story is

1. always confident with urself, be honest with god, family, friend and people
2. explain all prblm with good, make discussion, make a plan and always think what good for u and others.
3. family is important, friend also important urself also do the best for ur life.
4. if u give up and frustrated, take a while and rest and wake up again
5. sharing ur prblm with someone u believe and comfortable.
6. i love all people in my life.
many2 good advice in this happy all my friend

i took all this photo when i'm waiting bus to main city at terengganu. sorry ifu dont like my story but its really a memory for me. i love to share n what is good take is as advice. n the bad thing just leave it.