There's always a smile on face but inside heart nobody knows

Sunday, May 31, 2009

catch the light


many thing happen at hometown. something bad n nice. everyone going crazy with our wedding ceremony. especially my mother n father. crisis in family happen again. totally i really fed up. i only can keep quite someone blame to someone...bla bla bla really make me stress. thats life.
i know my responsiblitty, i know what i should do, but sometime i also need a space to make myself happy, talking with someone close to me and so on. i dont know, i always try my best even another sibling too. since my father marriage another wife, 13 years ago, our family always in crisis. i always be patient, strong and positive. but as human, when that prblm come again, its like a bomb to explode anytime, any place n so on.
i only can say like that. i hope everything going ok soon. i just give up.......i want a friend to talk and share for this time, still no space, no time and hard to say. i love my mother, father and the whole family.thats all
catch the light is something imposible but i will try my best.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

rushing at cousin house




i'm at my cousin house because waiting my auntie and my mom. we will go to another relative wedding. so my mother invite me together because she wanna introduce me with another relative. not for my future wife, just as her son. hahha
yeah so i just rushing write n update my blog. hope everyone can happy and know my face now. hahah lazy to shave, but now already shave all hair at face because get ready for my sister wedding at 6th of june. hope everyone will ok there. take care.

strawbery at hometown











hmmm..finally at home






i learned many thing when i'm at home, like my friend said..." when one door closed to u, many door will open to u", so dont worry. yeah i realize its true. my life will more important now. thanks to everyone sms n call me.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My niece……and my young brother






Stay at hometown really makes me crazy, like I said no choice. Cheers up ariff. Cheers up and be happy. When 1st drop my foot at house at hometown, I just put my bag in living room and help my uncle set up staircase for him. Still with proper clothes and tired I already at part of renovate house. That’s me. That’s my responsible.

Everyday I must wake up early and finish work almost at 7 or 9pm. making preparation for sister wedding and so on. Maybe some people think I will happy here, not at all. I always think positive and learn from what I done at hometown. My mind fly around thinking to everyone I loved, I miss and sometime I cry at corner alone because I cant do anything to say how much I want all of u. some people make me frustrated, some people make disappointed, some people make me proud, almost make me like a ghost.

I’m lucky because have niece, they will come to my house meet their grand father n mother at weekend. Shami n shasha. They like ride electric motorcycle bought by my father. Their attitude or habit makes me smile n laugh sometime. Sometime make me mad too. Last weekend, shasha ride motorcycle n her brother at behind. I can say both of them really genius n intelligent because they can use electric motorcycle with good. My father teaches them only once, but they can use it with good, with all button. Shami only 3 years old and shasha 2 year old. Funny is shasha fight with her brother because she want ride the motorcycle until she slept on motorcycle. Lol . hahaha. Her brother mad with her, but she still not allow her brother take over the motorcycle until their mother come n mad them. Heheh. So stubborn.

Lucky too my young brother back home for 5 day. At least help at construction site to renovate house. but sometime happen, I will never tell here, those people know about that, I hope understand my situation. So tired with work at home. i only can dream what I want at night. Many thing I want write here but…I really frustrated. Let it go anyways…..these life make me more stress, burden inside n hurt. I always say I need someone…….i’m sad actually for many thing. Many question to ask, many story to share…I’m sad at all.



Redang Island n visitor






I’m arrived at Kuala Terengganu City around 4am, need waiting next bus at 730am, its long hour to wait. With 3 bag and 1 box, I can’t move much because need to take care my stuff. But look hav many Chinese people come to Terengganu because they will go to Redang Island later. See the photo many of them come to my state. Hehhee.

Just feel lonely, its hard decision, hard decision, hard decision to move to hometown. Why? Only I know that’s reason. I’m tired with all stuff, some still at KL, but I don’t know, when I will pick that thing again. I’m give up and frustrated. Almost down, and I know if i’m stay at hometown, I will suffer all my life. To ignore that thinking, I dream and wish can go to beach, island or Kenyir Lake with my father and family. Its hard to go now..but its just hope.

frustrated

A few hour b4 I leaving my house to bus station, I really bored at home. Waiting someone online really make me suffer, disappointed because I want spent the time I have with someone I loved, I miss even more than everything. I know everyone have their own life, even busy with family but I want people know…I’m not happy with this decision.

Since morning I woke up, I got some sms, after they know my decision. I’m happy because some my lovely friend with me until now, give me support, advice and so on. And I’m sad too because some people put distance from me, maybe I’m not important for them anymore. Yeah, that’s life. When u happy and people around u, asked ur help, using u, even more than that. But when u lost for a while in your life, people will ignore u, even never contact u anymore.

Yeah a little bit upset, just packing stuff and sometime my eyes look at computer monitor hope special person will online. Nothing at all. In process packing stuff in box, I found 2 necklaces from someone from Malaysia and Morocco. It’s nice, and honestly I rarely wear it. i respect my housemate because they don’t like I’m wearing that, and I also shy to wear it. But I wear it sometime. Just record that memory in blog. Thanks for the gift, its nice n lovely.

Finally, my special person online, I hope can talk longer, but make me frustrated. Nothing to say, because now I’m at hometown already no time anymore to talk even chat. Huh. its makes me mad. No word to say actually. like I said b4, sometime have something we can’t explain, something hard explanation, because people think its not important for them, because they have their own life.

Those people sacrificed their time with me b4, I really appreciate it. i miss all of u.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

unbelieveable...its rain at kl.

last time i wrote about rain n my life at previous posting. when i leaving kl, always heavy rain in kl, its like they sad about me. why i said like that now? actually kl now very hot weather. more than one week without rain. i'm still remember, last night one guy stand beside me in the lift n said...now so difficult at night because too hot in the room even at day time too.

many people say like that, n now suddenly i heard a thunder from sky n a little rain in kl. wow amazing. maybe they sad, i'm leaving tonight. u can see the water on floor n roof from the photo. i need to learn how to catch rain next time by camera. hehehetime to go. see u next time.



hmmm..see next time...:-)


thanks to everyone those support me in my life, gave advise, mad me and care me. honestly i did something crazy work writing in blog . i improve a lot in English. because if u read at 1st posting, i wrote in malay, now i improve. just wanna say, i will not update my blog anymore. so sorry. i promise i will write again when everything ok. leaving kl is very difficult decision for me. thanks for everyone. i will miss u later.dont forget feeding my fish, if u free.

Kerinchi Pasar Malam, night market at Malaysia

one thing i wanna do b4 i'm leaving kl is buy mango at night market. i love mango. heheh. pasar kerinchi actually hav many thing to buy, all variety food , fruit and so on. its open at monday n friday.long tim ei make decision to take photo at night market because i'm shy, hahah. finally i did..so nice taking photo and put in my blog. one of malaysian community activity. night market the most famous market at malaysia. i miss this because at hometown i dont hav pasar malam because we just cooking at home. hehehhe

many kind of food with cheap price, even u can buy cheap fruits. its lovely. i like it.Good bye everyone.i will miss of u.












putra mall shopping complex