Saturday, December 27, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
the good thing about him is, he left philipines to n work at dubai for his family, his future n life since 2 years ago. now he invite me to phlipines for his wedding day. i wish i could.......i got that news b4 i'm terminate. n right now i need to plan again my life n my future. i wish he will enjoy at his wedding day. thanks for ur nice package, weeding clothes for guy groom n also girl groom for me later when i'm there. but right now, i cant promise anymore to go there. we will consider it later....so sad.....u r my best friend ok........wish u happy with ur wife later....u will climbing the real mountain later. hahhahah
thanks raplh for ur invitation. i must relook my work n life. Hope God will give me chance later.its lovely day right, look friend happy at the great day......i wish i can come ....
i just arrange my folder in my computer, find this plan n i love it. just wanna put my idea. i'm bored at home. i hate this, i wanna go out with someone, hav fun n happy.still pressure to looking new job, but not so stress.wish hav camera digital, n take photo at outside...i'm bored.
Friday, December 19, 2008
then On Wednesday 18 dec 2008, my colleague at office called me to meeting room n talk something, yeah i got bad news, i was terminate n my last day at office 31 dec. i'm ready actually because i know its will happen to me. i'm not sad n stress, because i believe all things happen hav the reason. i loved working at my company. i just wanna say thank very much to my best best friend at office, Nazdim, Haida n Farah. this 3 person always with me from morning until evening. not too late for me to say, i will miss triple of u, especially nadzim n haida because his new person in my life, n farah actually is my senior at my university.
For nazdim, thanks for ur help every morning. Everyday i always got phone call from u. hahha now i realize ur call make me happy n smile every morning. thanks for friday pray, thanks for ur help at office.thanks for everything.i cant count here, how much it is.something good for u is, pls play our games last time at pop up, its good for u not to sleep anymore.
To haida, believe me u r good worker, dont come late to office, use the chance u hav to show everyone u can do the best from others.to haida, love ur bf ok, i'm sure he love u too........we shared a lot at office, remember my poem ok ....hahhaha n also thanks helped me in English.
for farah, dont worry n sad ok, stay "comel" everyday n do work with good.we will chat again later when hav free time ok. i love ur work output at office, especially landscape, look real on plan
i feeling miss to buy nasi lemak/ breakfast to all of u later. yeah its nice memory for short time . only 4 month there n this photo i took a month ago but i never post here, i ready actually for this. hope all of u remember me.i learned a lot there. to everyone at sa architects, love ur energy, ur work style, ur effect of work, nice n great. superb for me in my life.i should say every name at office, at least i will still remember all of u, thanks to adah, farid, shariff, fakhrul, liza, nazim, farah, shazmie, rahman, shariman, winly, faiz, khairul, zainal, din, kak yati, zuhaimi, haida, intan.
now i must looking for new job to continue my life. i must strong. i wanna thanks also everyone close to me, robert, tj, patrick, sharifudin, nuno, alex,n qwho everyone know me.ur advise, ur opinion, ur suggestion gave me strength to me to continue this life. to my family, i'm still keep it as secret, i'm promise i will find the job asap, because i confident myself, if nothing happen, i will comeback to hometown...i miss all of u.thanks again to SA Architect, i enjoy there.thanks again gave me chance to work there.thanks to peggy too....my account staff at office.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
sometime smiling its not only a sign to show happy, many time i pretend to others with smiling but inside my heart i'm too hurt. one of my friend asking me, how u can smile long time? easy.....either u just open ur mouth n show the teeth or u smile with sincere. since a week ago, i can feel this thing, i try to say no long time ago......but i also lonely, no partner in kl which is understand me. i'm positive , i will positive always.but i must viligant every time, because i will get hurt again next time.
difficult for me to explain because its difficult feeling.maybe i just garbage n people can throw away, n also i just bus station, the bus come to me n left.maybe the bus always come but next time the bus not come anymore.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
what happen last night? hahaha. i'm mad Nuno, one of my friend at portugal. second, my friend, Chad at damansara. sharifuddin? just chat.......then i delete all the id in my msn n also yahoo, because i dont know them. too much.so easy to delete it, but difficult to find good friend.
i just wanna say sorry to nuno and chad. i miss robert...my big brother.lol no more spank ya.i always late thinking about myself.i realize what i want, its not a ticket to get it. people say, we planned it , but the God decide it. yeah, maybe u crazy to meet that person, but the truth is that person maybe bad for u. so i must put in my mind, i always the best. it is right? i dont care anymore about people around me.
last week i met someone, from our discussion, i like this sentence "love is God's gift" and "DON'T WISH FOR SUMTHING WHICH IS NOT YOURS"
love is God's gift
- honestly i always asking myself every second, every minute about love. look at people those hav gf n bf, sometime make me jealous.but do u realize, how much u try to find ur love, u never meet or found it. its all about life n God. The God will give u love when the right time came to u.
but i always think negative, how about someone waiting until 40 years?until he or she not strong anymore, she cant pregnant, or he can't get hard, or the skin not tight anymore..... the answer is maybe,
- he not love himself, so how he or she can love another person.
- love its not about sex,its about soul, spirit,attraction, n feeling
when someone in love,thats the God's gift for them,we cant buy it, force it,found it without permission from God. so always pray n ask from the God. no need to find it, just be relax, smiling..hahhahaha.so difficult for me.
"DON'T WISH FOR SUMTHING WHICH IS NOT YOURS"
its common to everyone in this world, always pretend to be someone. no need, just be urself n confident what u have.for example, when we saw a man /girl with nice face, sexy body, perfect, great car, much money....n so on, we always asking ourself....
-why i'm not be like him or her?
-why i'm not hav thats car?
-why i'm not rich like them?
but we forget, we should ask ourself, why u not work hard to get what he/ she hav? why not u go exercise to get body like u dream ?so thankfull what u hav n use n care what u hav with good n careful. hahhaha.i'm smiling.why i'm smiling? last time i hav friend from iraq, but he moved to germany n work there. so he hav great nose, sexy n nice.i love to pull nose actually. then i pulled his nose with strong, he screaming.....i said what happen?what wrong? r u pain? finally he swear he did cosmetic surgery at germany. i asked him why? he answered me.i wanna look better n great, so i work hard n make some surgery at face.finally i realize, typical people from iraq n iran hav big nose. hahahha. if u not believe , go n see.
so the moral of story.........the love is God's gift, so the time will come to u later. work hard n smart and thankful what u hav in this world. every one hav mind,why dont use it to get what u dream n wish , as long as dont change urself to be another person.
we never know what will happen for us at future, so everyone must be good n always think positive.i was rejected, hurted with many people last time, too much. now days, they come back to me, its like.....what i should say......
last time they not answer my call, also my sms,even use bad word to me. right now all changed, they come with sweet word, friendly.......n of course sympathy. for me i always try save my relationship especially every person i know. if i dont like or not interested i will explain with good n clear.i always say i appreciate ur message, but we not good match. so depend with everyone to accept or not. like i always mention in my blog is be honest. if u dont want me, wanna reject me,dont be quite, be gentleman n tell me. the god give us mouth to speak, so tell the truth.
this day, i hav good health, hav good friend, hav good family,, its enough for me. 20 days from now, i will become 24 years old. i must be mature in everything. no more childish.i know sometime we become pamper, n not mature, but we must remember sometime the hormons in our body not stable, so happy , be happy, n always happy. if i did mistake, pls let me know.if i did mistake, i will ask apologize.
last week, i cleaned my house n also my room. cleaned the cupboard....oh my god...too much clothes,i realize i was spent a lot money for clothes.no more shopping. i still hav my t shirt when i 19 years old even 15 years old in my cupbard.all the shirt size is xl, even my pant 38 and 36. i dont know why, my mother n father always buy a big tshirt n big pant for me.maybe they know i hav something value.hahhaha
right now i wearing M or L size for t shirt n pant 32- 33.one thing prblm for me when i wanna buy pant is i hav big drumstik...hahhaa.i love short pant when i child, so for me its normal or common in my life. even i just wear it to shopping complex. not to be sexy, but easy to move.why i mention here? because i saw many people not comfortable when i wearing short pant when i go out.
talk about steward or cabin crew, something funny for me actually. i only told my sister at hometown about my interview, n i warned her dont tell everyone. i can cheat her, but i never do that, so be honest. then after i finished my interview, suddenly my father called me..oh my god, i listen at back my mom laughing with loudly.i'm sure my sister told them.the whole family know about that. i swear to my father n mom, what happen, n the reason i went to interview.... but suprisely, my mother said why not u become model, hahaha so funny....i told her, dont be crazy la.....i will never become model, just be a model for my family only. hahhaha..so nice laughing with them, i miss them. thats why i miss rendang, actually only me like cooking rendang at home. i always stay at kitchen with my mom cooking together, even another sibling upstair watching tv. i love cooking. when i going back hometown, my mother always ask me to cook for the whole family.
maybe i'm homesick right now, i wanna go home this xmas, but i hav something to do until end of the year.talk about my work, everything o. i dont want think about recessation anymore. just look in front.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
i dont know why,i'm not mad totally, but i'm just smiling until now. sorry if i'm selfish with myself to others. sorry too if i'm childish, hahaha. those wanna spank me later, i gave permission, lol hahahaha
i wake up today with nice sleep, clean house n will go to gym later n make laundry......but one thing i feel bad is, when we facing prblm n need or borrow shoulder to cry or share,they always not close with us.its life,people just come n go, even if u worst guy, u r just nut.
i love this sentence, i found from somewhere.
"one day you're gonna wake up n realize that i'm the guy for you,but at that point i'll be waking up next another person who already knew"
start on monday, i knew i'm still pain, pain of trust, believe n friendship. sometime its crazy n sometime make me strong. i know i lost someone important to me. not important but someone who care me b4, love me,n always make me happy.when someone love u , they will mad if u did something wrong.....thats important.i hate with this thing,,pls no sweet word, no promises, even if u late or make poeple waiting to meet, sms n let the person know, what happen to u,where r u now, even u on bed with someone. be honest
i'm happy on tuesday because finally i met someone i'm waiting for a long time.yeah ,its like miracle,no word to say here, but i always put in myself just enjoy, no intention,no sweet word n the important is use the chance u hav with good.
at same time , i fight with myself to went interview or not,n very busy with office work, n also the most important reduce my weight at gym, hahahaa. i always set in my mind for this weeek. a little bit tired but i'm ok. i bought new clothes for interview, my computer hav prblm,my shoesbroken, even my handphone too, its like the dark cloudy always follow me anywhere i go.
many people give me support,especially sharifudin n robert. only they know about my interview......b4 i tell to others. i knew i will fail, but try something new its good.so thursday, its busy day, no time to take photo for interview, n rush for office work. then at same time i facing second prblm, those know about it....haahaha u r lucky.
so friday i just finish all my work b4 long holiday, print the photo for interview, n still confuse wanna go to interview or not. i fight with myself about 2 thing actually, finally on Saturday i lost that 2 thing at same time.
i never regret to interview, i'm happy for that, but i mad n stress for 2nd prblm in my life.its crazy thing, stupid n just waste the time. i thought i can be happy n fun, i choose for interview 1st as my career life but i'm failed. i give commitment with job at office, also interview n at same time for 2nd prblm.still make me bad.
then after finish interview, i was mad n i'm tired actually. then someone rude, stupid, distrub me with sms. since a long time ago, i'm asking him , who r u? until now he play games with m,. thats why i'm mad with the text gave to me. its crazy even u tell me i'm ur friend. u never know with who u talking or sms.i try to not sms but as human i should reply to clear everything about me. no word to say to those people like this. i need time to be calm down, finally i just sleep at home.
n again i got experience in my life, singapore airlines n qatar airways.i love that, i know i'm not qualified, but run from my scope of work, its make me love it.so nice if hav chance to travel..
Friday, December 5, 2008
i dont want share my prblm anymore, because its will show my weakness, my bad thing, and also maybe annoying people.stand on my own ffot ,its better. believe our ownself, confident, positive,its will help me. i hope
but as human we need company. i'm lonely all the time.i cant sleep because i'm lonely,try to find good friend, but its seem imposibble.i'm tired with life.i know i should not waiting, or hunting, but i need to talk, i need to be loved, i need to be close with someone i like. at least i hav vision in my life.im desperate to hav good life.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
when i wake up from the dark night
i try to find something i lost
but i realize,i will never found it anymore.
i saw a light behind the door
i wish u was there,
then my tears moving, hot,warm
crying in the night
i cant stop anymore......
i still remember
I can still feel
last time, when i wake up from sleep
n i smile......
then u wake up, suddenly u hugging me tight
u kiss me, u warm me
i'm drowning in fake love
u serve me well,
u care me well,
do u still remember?
i bring u walk around n i saw
n i put my hand on
its already make me happy
i never care people look at us
i never care people think about us
only want happy with u with the time i hav
i never ask anything from u
i only want u to think of me
my kindness, my honest heart,
n every inch of my body
i'm poor guy, i only can offer u my rich smile,
my sweetest word n benefit for u,
my gold of time,
my delicious body
my luxuries kiss
and my honest heart
but that night is the last night for me
i just sit at corner n see u from far,
u called me many time n sms me
then i come n meet u,
n again i'm hidden myself
n again u call me, i come to u n smile to u
u mad at me, u look sweet that night
in that place, i count every second in my handphone.
i just sit at corner n count the time
n i say, please end of this thing faster
everyone become crazy like in the hell
the hell of bullshit, and lying
10 second b4 the time finish,
i saw u moving,
like the wind blow the coconut tree
then many bird stop on the tree's branches
n only one bird, open the wing, crawlers the tree
n bite the tree
from the corner, i'm smiling,
i'm not feeling bad,
i'm not jealous,
then u catch some of the bird
n we sit down some where n bird singing,
u see deep in my eyes, n me too
i seen memory,a memory i will never forget
then i'm just smile at the corner,
n i gave u space for u to listen that song
because u never listen thats song b4
later u will listen everyday that song
only one bird can singing well,but look proud
then u choose to take back home that bird
i'm continue smiling,
but one of
because the bird will mess
u still want that
then we moving back home,
the bird still singing,singing n singing
i just sit in front n u sit behind with the bird
the bird still singing,
n i just look outside of car
i saw many light,
many light in my life, i never seen b4
then i look to
driving the car but the eyes look at centre mirror
i dont hav mirror to see
i only mirror of my life, i never look behind
but i listen the bird still singing
then i arrived at my place, i open the door,
but u catch my hand..
n u pull my head......
then u gave me THE LAST KISS
i close the door, walking n i never look behind
i'm not cry, because i see many light b4,
i mirror myself, n i love myself
i realize how much u make me happy b4
i know how much u care me b4
if i hav chance to born again
i wanna be someone which is u'll never find others
now i left u forever
i know its hard decision
i know its stupid decision
i gave u space, big space
to let u know, i'm the best for u
because i know, i'm the best for myself
to let u know, i'm the best for u
because i know, i'm the best for yourself
to let u know, i'm the best for u
because i know, i'm the best for everyone
Sunday, November 30, 2008
so in club , we can see many crazy people inside, with loud sound n very noisy. everyone dance n drunk. some malay guy look drunk n sit down on floor, look stupid person. i try to enjoy, but its really not my favourite thing. many people look at me, n try to touch me......of course i'm not allow them to do it, hahaha. the funny thing, everyone busy to asking my name, n invite me for dance.
everyone dancing like monkey, doggie, horse style in madagascar film. its worst n weird when u me bullshit people, like mak cik2 in the club. i just smileing at corner, n one by one come to me n say hi. but one guy took my photo, after he force me to allow me do that.not naked photo, just simple photo, that person really happy after i allow him took my face. funny. i'm not actorla.
we finish at 3am, but my friend still crazy with bullshit people, for us architecture person, manypeople bullshit to get everything they want, huh.i'm hate people like that. i dont mind n i dont care. i saw from my eyes, too bad.....a drama happen infront of me....just look n smile but in my heart..damn it.i'm not good enough?!!!!!!
thats life, crazy thing, i lost rm51 last night...thanks for richard sent me back at home. he so kind, n wish the best for him.i'm not so good lik u la
Saturday, November 29, 2008
although i dont hav time to spent time with them after finish study at university,we always contact until now.for me, they r my best friend in my life. after 1 year 5 month finished study, some of them already hav car, life, n so on. i like to tell one by one, about my friend.
fazwan- using Peugeot, funny, not available. sometime always mad
balqis- gen2, will marriage end of this year, good girl but stubborn, honest
aness- perdana v6, ikhwan's gf, funny n honest
elly- kelisa, hav bf, my hometown friend, very honest, tuff, soooooo kind with me,
rina- viva, single, nice girl, pamper, good girl,
farhana- kelisa, will marriage next year, funny girl n beautiful, honest n kind, sexy
afifah- myvi,my dream gf hahaha, beautiful, sexy, kind, but, not avaible
sapturinah- viva, funny girl, kind n honest, n so lemah lembut
elin- she hav driving lisence but no car, small girl but strong, nice n kind too
usop- hav lisence but still study at university, very family person, kind n honest
ise- hav lisence too,bowling's member, hav bowling ball, good man but sometime pelik
me-heheh, the worst person from others actuallly, i'm member of gym, travel to singapore, no driving lisence, won bowling tournament at office, single, ..hehehe thats all about me
what i got in this year
- i change to better company n good offer
- i went to gym
- finally i use my passport, i mean i went to singapore
- i went to cabin crew interview
- i hav good life, n healthy life
- lose my weight
- giving my family better life
- buy new handphone
- i dont hav driving lisence
- my camera was broken, i wish can get new camera
- if i hav lisence, i wanna buy car, maybe gen2 or peugeot
- buy laptop, (i hav Pc)
- someone love me n care
i try save any relationship, n i hav goal in myself. sometime i never care everyone cute or not, handsome or not,old or not but i just want someone respect me, my life n my heart too. dont make everyone waiting n finally you make the negative result to that person. if u hav chance, just do it. even u dont like that person, tell the truth, close that book n open new book.i realize we never can make everyone happy, but at least tell the truth.
i realize nobody will make myself happy, except i did my own. nobody can change myself, if i'm not stand on my foot n looking forward in front of me. to be a perfect n better guy at future, i should facing this thing. what ever happen b4, i must leave behind, i will not begging anymore. no more cry, although its good for me. those people wanna try hurt me, better stay away from me. understand me, know me 1st b4 u decide to be my friend.
i know i should not talking about this anymore, sad thing n bad thing, but i want all of u learn something from my life. this blog is like my dairy of life, if u dont like to read, just close it. i'm honest guy, i dont like sharing, i hate people talk behind me, people using me to thier benefit. i'm ready to fight with everyone.
i know its like hard time for me, yeah i fight with myself, those know my prblm and try to help me, i wanna thanks so much. everyone looking what their want, same with me. i should move.....good bye to every one betray me from behind.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
here i just wanna share one place nice to rest n relax. i wish i can design my house like this, just a small pool, n great material. everyone know, kl is too busy city, with crowded people, n car. so, unbelievable in big city hav nice place like this...u can naked in pool, nobody care. like heaven
i know, i never hav been nice place like bali,thailand or combodia, but to find nice place in kl city,i think this is one example i can offer here. i know its very very expensive. i just want to share here.hope all of u like it.
Something nice in this cafe is, they put a paper, which is every guest came to that cafe, can write some note n put on the wall close to the toilet. i read all that note. So sweet, n nice.Thats y , i'm writing here, because i hope one day,i can read all my memory with someone i love, i care from my blog. Maybe later at future everything different, but i will never change. i want ariff now will become ariff too.
we took lunch at Melaka river, i ate Mee siam..its nice too n delicious. i love the view,nice building...maybe at future they will call venice of malaysia. hehhehe........we went to melaka conservation house. thats house took over by badan warisan malaysia for model restoration project at melaka. i enjoyed with that house, n we did some survey about old Chinese shop houses there.thanks again for my lovely friend.one day, when i look back this photo,for sure i will cry n remember our memory.
those people wanna know more detail about that house u can see from badan warisan malaysia website.
Monday, November 24, 2008
b4 that, he also called me n mention to me he at pudu prison because he go out at midnite without passport. i dont want to know what he did at midnight because its his personal life, but its hard time for me because i went to plice station n discuss with police n pay some money to release him from prison, thats time i cry too much because its my responsibility to take care of him afte i accepted him as my brother n i promise with his family. thats time i only 21 years old. i cant imaging,from where i got the strength to do that. but he never contact me since 1 year ago......i think its not fair to me......
then, one of my europe friend told me he got horrible day n mention to me......... "i only believe u n u r good friend to me". i try to asking him, what happen to you"....until now he never answer to me. as friend i'm worry, n afraid if something happen to him although he never do what he promised to me.i dont mind about that,i dont care about it anymore because i'm tired to asking. then, as human we always do mistake, i'm not perfect too, i'm not good enough too, so be honest in everything n confident when do decision.i realize i'm not good for everyone, at least i'm not hurt anybody.......n again it is fair to me?
many thing happen to me, i try to make all people happy, i know i hav chance to reject or delete everyone which hurted me, but i'm not that kind guy, because i know one day they wll know, who thats person care about them or honest with them. i never asking to pay me back even money, i only neeed respectation, friendship, believe n most important is clean heart.
yeah one of my friend anthony said.."let it go,let it go, let it go"....but i cant miss all of u even u not miss or care me.........and i remember another friend, Tj gave me advise, "see this day"........ from my understanding....."see what u got today, people around u, ur job, environment n u manage to be good at future.....( it is right?). n not forget my friend at rtm.....smile n be happy......yeah i should happy to continue this life.......nobody care u, just move on, n leave bad people at behind. no need care them, because they never care about u......
b4 i'm finish this article, i really sad because when my Iranian's sister marriage, they never inform me. its really hurted me......they accepted me as their family but......no word to say anymore.....i love all of u, n i miss all of u, i'm here for all of u....
Sunday, November 23, 2008
this some photo from my visit at singapore, i miss that because this is my 1st time go out from kl, n 1st time i'm use my passport after many person canceled to bring me out from kl.i hav best friend at singapore, i'm not shy to tell all of u, but i'm proud. thanks actually
one thing i wanna remind me here is pls dont forget me ,if u move to another country.........when i thinking about singapoe, i will thinking of u as my best friend.i'm happy at singapore, visit many place, i learn a lot actualy from my visit,wish u come to kl n become my friend.......pls care ur health too.
like u say, everyone hav thier own way, i wish u will happy later, just tell me if u need myhelp.i'm here n ready foru n everyone.